The Day I Fell In Love With A Cross Dresser
by Shiori Asuka
Summary: [AU] “From the moment I set eyes on you I knew that you were special. I felt something for you I never thought possible, and it wasn’t male hormones. I loved you. The only problem? You were a guy.” [Nonyaoi] [NaruHina]


The Day I Fell In Love With A Cross-Dresser

Author: Shiori Asuka

Title: The Day I Fell In Love With A Cross-Dresser

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters associated with the anime/manga. If I did, Naruto and Hinata would be together, Yondaime would be alive and evil (evil Yondy would be so hot) and Itachi would be relieved of his stick-up-the-ass, nail-painting, tormenting-my-little-brother-is-what-I-exist-for life.

Summary[AU "From the moment I set eyes on you I knew that you were special. I felt something for you I never thought possible, and it wasn't male hormones. I loved you. The only problem? You were a guy." [Non-yaoi [NaruHina

A/N: Well. I'd like to say that this just wrote itself, but no, unfortunately not. I had to slave to get this one done so feedback would be _wonderful_. Also, if anyone is offended by what I wrote, feel free to review or PM saying so. These are not my personal views but they fit with the story. Also, my first attempt at humour, so, humour _me_ and tell me how I did please.

Oh, you were so beautiful. You're exotic eyes, your silky hair, your melodic voice… You were beyond beautiful.

Normally, I wouldn't call someone like you beautiful, but you really were. Without a doubt in my mind, you were gorgeous. I felt things for you I didn't think anyone could ever feel. You see, from a young age I was scorned and hated so I tended to be severely emotionally stunted at the best of times. So when I fell for you I, naturally, thought I needed to be shoved in a mental hospital for thinking things that males shouldn't think about.

Even now, I still shudder at the thought of boy-boy love, it's just so wrong! I mean, God made Adam and Eve, did he not? Nowhere in the bible did I hear anything about Adam and Steve. Especially Adam and Steve in a relationship. So, like I said, I was mortified when I found my self attracted to you. I had always prided myself on being as straight as a metal ruler, but somehow I turned out to be one of these '_flexi-rulers_', you know, the ones that you can bend and are everything _but_ straight? Sigh Such is life as some of you will be unfortunate enough to find out. Things never turn out the way you want them too. I have discovered that I couldn't even look at girls anymore and feel anything more than companionship for them.

I've been reduced to the feminine, fashion-conscious, hyper-sensitive entity known as the gay man, aka: the homosexual.

Where's the Cyanide when you need it?

"Hey! Naruto! HEY!" Cringing severely, I sighed and waited for Sakura to catch up. Panting, she started what I knew would end up as a rant about how I've been 'different' and 'not myself' lately.

"Man Naruto! You sure walk fast! Is something wrong? You know, you have been…" I switched off as soon as I heard the 'You know, you have been' part.

Ugh… I don't know what I ever saw in her… She can be so annoying, and until we got to High school she had always treated me like crap. Then, when the teme _finally_ caved and let her molest him (not literally); she started being a bit nicer to me. I guess she had too much sexual frustration to have any patience with me before hand.

……

Ugh… I didn't really want to think that……

……

"NARUTO!" My head snapped up in shock.

"Yes, no, 1944!" I shouted off the top of my head. Oops… I guess I had forgotten that Sakura was there. She shook her head.

"If I didn't think there was something seriously wrong with you, I'd hit you."

Oh. No.

She can't have found out… She can't know that I'm.. I'm… _gay_… Can she? It's not that obvious is it? And besides, there's nothing wrong with gays!

"There'snothingwrongwithit,Sakura. It'sacceptednowanywayinsociety. LookatLee!" Needless to say… She looked confused as hell. Aside from the fact that she couldn't decipher what I had said, she didn't even know what I was rambling on about.

"What are you-" She cut herself off as a slow smile made its way onto her face. It became a grin.

"Ohhhhhh…" She said, still with that creepy grin on her face.

"So _that's_ what's wrong with you. I was just being general, you know, you were sad or something. But now I know why you were being so… weird lately… Hehehehe…"

I could have hit myself. I wanted nothing more than to bury my head in the sand right then and there. Now that Sakura knew, she was going to make a big fuss out of it and go all girly on me and expect me to… Shop… Oh the horrors! And now Sasuke is bound to find out! She hadn't known! Agh!

A thought suddenly struck me.

"Wait, how did you know I was talking about _that_?" Still with the creepy grin!

"Oh... Just that you mentioned Lee…" I internally sighed. Lee was a good friend of ours who had come out of the closet a few months into the year. None of our friends were really surprised though, I mean, what straight guy wears a Green Spandex jumpsuit with a bowl cut and brows that look like a ferret crawled onto his face and died? None that I know. Mind you, I don't really know that many Green Spandex jumpsuit wearing, Bowl Cutted, Ferret Eyebrowed guys.

Anyway, I'm getting off track with Lee. The point is… My life was now over. I was destined for a life of teasing from Sasuke, shopping with Sakura, gaa-ing over from Ino and harassment from Sai (another one of our gay friends. He was one person I knew would have any trouble accepting my homosexuality). My life could not get any worse!

Sakura must have noticed my internal rant or something because she put her hand on my arm and said,

"It's okay, you know. They'll all be fine with it. You know that. Sasuke's your best friend. He won't ditch you that quick. Not unless you make a pass on him." Sakura and I shared a laugh, thinking of the last time Sai had a go at Sasuke.

Sai was eating through a straw for a week.

And that was just with Sasuke.

Sakura didn't find out until three days after Sai got out of hospital because she been away at Medical Camp. Let me tell you, Sakura is _really_ scary when mad. I couldn't look at her for a week. It was the first time I ever felt sorry for Sai.

So, aside from the fact that me and Sasuke… going out… made me sick to the stomach, I knew he was _way_ off limits, but then, I suspect Sakura already knew what was going on, even at that point. It's not my fault you had short hair!

"So, seriously Naruto, don't worry! They won't care and you know it. So," _Finally_ the creepy grin goes! Only to be replaced by a sly smile… I don't know which was worse.

"Who is he?" I blush at the 'he'. I still couldn't believe that me, Uzumaki Naruto, was gay.

"Uh- I… It's..." I stumble over my words. I was never this shy when it came to past _girl_friends! Sakura seemed to be thinking the same thing.

"Come on Naruto! When you used to like a girl, you would shout it to the world, why are you having so much trouble now?!"

"Maybe because it's a guy?!" I shouted back at her. At that, Sakura simply smiled. Not a 'You'll pay' kind of smile, not a sly smile, but a genuine one. I think that's when I started to suspect that she knew something that I didn't.

"Come on Naruto… It's just a name…" Sighing heavily I walked up to her, leant over and down to hear ear and whispered the dreaded name.

"WHAT?!" was the last thing I ever heard. That shout was so loud it made me deaf…

Not really but it was seriously loud. Especially with my sensitive hearing.

"A-are you actually serious?" I nodded solemnly. Maybe she thought I was joking up until now, I was quite the prankster when I was younger… and occasionally now… I can't wait till Sasuke opens that closet. Hehehe… That was genius; woodchips and soap, he'll never get that out.

"Oh Naruto. Oh, I don't know what to say…" She was smiling and I could see she was holding in a laugh. I got angry. Why did everyone always have to make fun of me!

"Go on! Say it! I know you want to! I _knew_ it! This is why I didn't tell anyone! Ever since I was a kid I was always hated, always scorned, why should now be any different!" With that I stormed off.

It wasn't until I reached the gym that I realised that I had stopped being angry. Now all I felt was hurt and betrayal. I thought Sakura was my friend and friends are supposed to be there for each other. But I guess she missed that memo.

Oh great, now I felt guilty. She had looked really hurt when I said those things.

Argh! Conflicting emotions suck! If only there was an off-switch to them…

As I headed to the machines, my mid switched to you again. Even though you were the cause of all this, I still couldn't blame you. I couldn't be angry with you.

Suddenly I sat bolt upright.

"Oh God... Oh no… I can't… I can't be in _love_ with you can I?" I whispered to myself. Up till now I had convinced myself that it was just a crush, but now I had all the symptoms that Sasuke-teme got before he agreed to go out with Sakura. Even when she glomped him, he wouldn't get angry. When she flirted with another guy, he got extremely jealous. When she got hurt, he felt so bad because he couldn't protect her.

"Oh God, I do love you."

"Anou…"

'_Oh. Crap.'_ were the only thoughts that ran through my head. It was _you_. You of all people that had to find me.

"Um… Hi." I realised that I had closed my eyes when I heard you and opened them only to find you close to tears.

"Um, are you alright?" You shook your head.

"Do you want to talk about it?" You shook you head and looked at the ground.

"It helps you know."

…Silence…

"I-I heard s-something. I h-heard that y-you're… _you know_." You finished in a whisper. Suddenly my anger was back in full force. Sakura had… she had told! It wasn't her secret to tell! I saw red until I saw how scared you looked at my furious anger. Struggling, but forcing myself to calm down, I made myself look you in the eye.

"It's you." You're head shot up from the ground.

"N-nani?" You said. Preparing myself once again, I said,

"It's you. You're the one that I like. Actually, I think I'm in love with you…" I waited with baited breath to see how you would react. Next thing I knew I had arms wrapped around me and a sobbing head on my chest.

"Anou… Are you okay?" I asked for what seemed like the thousandth time that day.

"Mhmm. I-I'm more than okay. Naruto-kun loves me. I'm so h-happy!" I smiled into your hair, thinking, although you were a guy, it was okay, because I knew you loved me back.

It was hours later and I had escorted you back you're dorm. It hadn't occurred to me at all where exactly I had escorted, at least not until after Sasuke-teme dropped his bomb. I walked into mine and Sasuke's room and didn't even try to hide my laughter at my own prank. It had worked like a charm.

Furiously trying to get it out, you just looked at me and said,

"You do know that Hyuuga Hinata is a girl right?"

………………………

"WHAT?!"

_Did you enjoy it? I hope so. Like I said earlier, first try at humour. For the record, I don't think Lee is gay. I love Lee. Anyway, please, please review!_


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